Throw Back Thursday - Self Portrait, Watercolor, 1995

Self portraits–one of the easiest, but also one of the hardest subjects to draw or paint. If you are looking for something to draw, you are undoubtedly always available! The only problem is, do you have a mirror handy? Something, anything reflective?? If not, you always have your hands and feet! I have drawn many self portraits over the years. I have only painted 3, this is one of them. This particular portrait was painted in 3rd or 4th grade, and may have been my first self portrait ever.

As I may have mentioned in the past, I had a wonderful, and even somewhat magical, elementary school experience. A significant part of what made it so great was my art teacher, Mrs. Cartwright. We learned so many real art things in her class. Sadly, I only truly came to cherish the art education I had at Gullett after moving schools in 5th grade and doing more craft projects than actual art in art class. I don't believe I ever told her what her classes meant to me.

We learned quite a bit of art history in Mrs. Cartwright's class as well. Our projects would often be based off of the artist we were studying and this particular portrait was completed during our study of Frida Kahlo. Unlike myself, Frida painted many self portraits, and a good deal of them express the pain in her life–some more subtly than others.

Frida and I share a similar pain, that of miscarriage. Her painting entitled Henry Ford Hospital, 1932, is a very graphic representation and expression of her pain following a miscarriage. I remember learning about it even as a child, and other than the self portrait with her husband painted above her brow,  it is the one thing that has always stuck out in my memory about Frida. I remember thinking about, and not fully understanding that sometimes babies die.

It's amazing what God allows you to experience and hold onto in your life that helps shape you to deal with what is to come in the future. I would never have known that as a child, mulling over the concept of miscarriage would in some way be preparing me for the events in my own life. I have seen this over and over again, and am grateful for these preparations. I wish Frida had had the same hope in her lifetime, and from the same source, that I have. I think it has made all the difference.

You can see my inspiration pretty clearly in Frida's portrait. Mrs. Cartwright had me include an animal, since Frida had animals in her painting. I chose a peacock, though I don't remember exactly why. We had peacocks at our school, along with a hundred other species of animals–I'm telling you, it was magical–and I'm thinking it was the most colorful animal I had seen to date. I remember we were also learning how to make washes in watercolor by slanting the board and letting gravity pull the excess bead of paint to the bottom, and adding more paint or more water to create the intended effect as we moved down and across the page.

Well, that's it for this Thursday's throw back artwork. I look forward to sharing more with you next week.